you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
