I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
actually, I'm a sock model
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
