Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You are the jesus of drinking
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
