I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
