How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
