I look better un-naked...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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