uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
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Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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