So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just invented taco cereal.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
