Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
