thus making me awesome and them whores
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
