I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My underwear smells like fireworks.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
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