East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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