Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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