Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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