she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize