Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
