Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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