I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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