well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
