yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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