Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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