i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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