girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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