9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
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I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
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I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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