I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
