You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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