Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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