I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think your dad took our porno
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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