hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
