did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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