I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
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I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
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my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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