jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
