I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
