god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
