I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
