so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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