How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
