Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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