I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
