I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
ttyl tear gas
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
