just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
