I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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