On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
