I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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