Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
