I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
