i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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