I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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