He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
