I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
