How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
