My liver just broke up with me...
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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