He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
