a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
