please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
