i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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